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So tips on toning down the negativity. First of all, people have to vent, right. They need catharsis. So it would be unbecoming of me for you to come into my office and me to say, calm down, relax, be dispassionate. This is not an emotional thing. No one’s really going to settle the case until they’ve had their say. So that’s what a lot of mediation does for us, is we let people vent, we have a mediator come in and we’ll tell our client. The mediator’s not really going to take your side, but they want to know where you’re coming from, get it off your chest. Because once you get your whole issue off your chest and you tell somebody, a neutral person, you can move on to settlement.
You may not have that drive to go to court if you never get a chance to explain how you feel. You may feel like you have to go to court just to tell a judge. So we give people a lot of opportunity to talk about how they feel, get it off their chest. I mean, I’ve told thousands of people, I’m a very expensive therapist. It’s not what I’m trained in. I will listen. You will feel empowered because you’re telling somebody who might be able to help you and do something. But really, a good therapist is probably better than a lawyer for a lot of the issues you’re going through. And it will help. And we can work hand in hand with them. We tell people, take a cyber vacation. You know, social media can be devastating.
You know, you can’t really undo stuff, tweets, you can delete them, but they’re out there. They, to me, how you say things is more important than what you say. Say it in a nice way. And when they hear from me, some people say, I don’t want you as my lawyer because you’re too nice. I say, trust me, I can be tough. But you don’t get rewarded for being angry. Judges don’t look at the nasty angry person and say, they must be angry for a reason. I’m going to help them. They look at the nice person as the victim, and they want to help the victim. And I start the training right at the beginning. Be nice. Judges misunderstand mediators, psychologists. They want to help people that are nice.
