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You should tell the lawyer anything you want to tell the lawyer. You should not feel afraid to tell your lawyer anything and not be embarrassed to tell a lawyer anything. Ask every question you think you could possibly think of. And if your lawyer makes you feel funny about asking, then that’s not the lawyer for you. There are a lot of lawyers that handle family law. So how do you know if you’ve got the right lawyer? You find a lawyer that does family law. You can find that on their website or through referral sources. But then which of those lawyers do you feel comfortable talking to? And it’s hard for a lawyer because there’s a balance. A lawyer has to listen to you, understand you. But a lawyer also has to tell you things you don’t even think to ask.
So who has the right balance of telling you what you don’t know and listening to you? And even if you’re asking the Lord to do something stupid, if the lawyer will listen, then explain to you why they think it’s stupid or why it’s not the best plan of action, or they will do it, but they’d rather you not do it. You know, it’s a relationship. You’re going to tell this person who you met for the first time things you haven’t told. Your mother, your brother, your family members, your best friend. You’re going to walk in and tell this lawyer things that you never thought you’d share with anybody. And it’s in this cone of silence. It better be something you feel comfortable with. It better be someone that you feel like you can talk to.
It better feel like someone you can call at 3:00 on a Saturday morning and say, I hate to call you now, but I just want to leave you this voice message. I’m terrified. Will you call me first thing in the morning? And when you hear that person’s voicemail just saying, hi, it’s Randy Kessler, leave me a message. That should make you feel better. So if that’s the relationship you have with your lawyer, and you will feel that after your first consultation, then you found your lawyer. And if you don’t feel good about it, then you walk out feeling like, well, I don’t feel good because I don’t know what I’m doing. They’re a lawyer and they know better. So it’s okay for me to feel uncomfortable? No, you should feel comfortable. And there are lots of lawyers.
If we’re not the law firm for you, find somebody else. But don’t go through this with somebody you don’t like or don’t feel comfortable with. It’s your life, and you have a right to find somebody that treats you respectfully and that listens to.
